Want a Free Harley? Just Sign The Unitary Pledge of Allegiance

Warning: The following is a fantasy about what could still be ….

Executive privilege is a key tool of the unitary president. If we would just formally legalize “executive privilege” and unitary leadership for all levels of government, life would be so much simpler. For example, none of government leaders would need to raise money for election campaigns and we the people would be rid of studying the issues and the ‘trouble of voting’ because campaigning and elections would no longer be needed. Of course, a few other changes would be required to keep this privileged unitary system (PUS) running.

Full blown PUS means we get rid of two thirds of all government and replace it with a unitary presidency. Who needs a rubber stamp legislature or judges who only support executive policy anyway? Extend PUS from the national level to the local level. All political decisions would be made by our unitary leaders at all levels of government. We could have a unitary national president, unitary state governors, unitary county commissioners, unitary city mayors, and home owners associations with unitary presidents to run all government and community activities as they see fit. And they all would be granted rights of executive privilege.

Imagine Washington, D.C., reduced to the unitary White House and K Street lobbyists occupying the historic offices of our Capitol Building. Add to this the Straussian neocons and support of The Federalist Society who would not only counsel the unitary executive but could curate our national and state museums to help us understand the nobility of the unitary executive and its rightful privileges. Access to our Constitution and Declaration of Independence would be limited to a select few of these consultants. This would help assure a unitary interpretation of these documents in support of the national unitary policy.

Similar changes across our state capitals and all local levels of government and community organizations would be made to carry the unitary policy to all.

Voting would become a relic of history just like the legislature and court system. Why bother voting if there is only one choice? We could just let the corporations pick our leaders. No voting also means no more worrying about election fraud.

Just think of the corporate profits saved by eliminating the need for corporate political contributions. These profits could instead be used to increase corporate executive benefits packages and pay for the lobbyists. After all, don’t they deserve the extra pay in this new system? They are not only paid for directing managers of large corporations, they should also be paid for their sage advice during all those secret meetings with the unitary executive branch of all levels of government. And they are all protected by executive privilege.

To implement these efficiencies and make our daily lives less complicated, a few other changes would be necessary.

In addition to legalizing the unitary executive and executive privilege, all the open meeting laws would have to be nullified. They would no longer be necessary. A unitary executive, by definition is trusted – or else ….

Open meetings were meant to keep the citizens informed so they could vote intelligently, but with voting and election fraud eliminated, who needs to know what the unitary executive and the corporate executive are saying behind closed doors. We all trust they will be fair and we’ve been told by the neocon curators that they were selected by those who know a truth too complicated for others to comprehend.

PUS would need a unitary source of information. The current situation has far too many variables for keeping the unitary governments stable. Also, citizens need to be entertained while the unitary government works aggressively to spread PUS to the rest of the world. This will also help secure our ‘homeland.’ All sources of information and entertainment would be merged into Fox News and other Rupert Murdoch media enterprises.

PUS would need a unitary evangelical religion to support the policies of the unitary governments – no more separation of church and state. Keeping them separate is just too confusing for maintaining a unitary executive.

All local and national law enforcement would be merged with the Justice Department. This would put national policy enforcement under the Attorney General. Combine that with the international policy enforcement through the Joint Chiefs of Staff and we have a unitary approach for battling all enemies – both internal and external. This, of course, works best when combined with executive privilege, secret meetings and no checks and balances by less knowledgeable third parties.

To control the ‘few’ internal enemies, the unitary governments would need to set aside remote sections of the country. They could use portions of the public properties leased out to the oil and gas corporations to ‘house’ these delusional dissidents and enemy combatants. They would be very useful in recovering the oil, natural gas, coal and other resources needed for both reducing the nations dependence on external energy sources and to support its ever expanding ‘international unitary expansion efforts.’

Higher education would be reserved for neocons, corporate leaders, lobbyists, media moguls, enforcement leaders and leaders of the national mega church. This would assure they are making the right decisions for the rest of the nation. It would also comfort the ruled to know they are in such noble educated hands.

Isn’t this just what we need? No more partisan bickering. No more filibustering. No more pork. Just one happy unitary country. In fact, why don’t we just get right to it? Why put it off any longer?

We’ve come a long way since 1994 and the Contract with America. GWB has brought us right up to the edge of this neocon future. Why try and stop it with an election in November. GWB can just declare a national emergency and ‘suspend’ the elections.

Just let it happen. Tell GWB you’re willing to give up your right to vote so he can stay on and finish what he started. But maybe he’s ready to retire and move to a unitary corporate position as a consultant for John McCain.

“Some say” that McCain is willing to provide a brand new Harley motorcycle to the first 1,000 signers of the unitary pledge of allegiance he plans to have developed.