Bad Deeds for 3-4-2009

Ex-Leaders of Countrywide Financial Profit From Bad Loans – Fairly or not, Countrywide Financial and its top executives would be on most lists of those who share blame for the nation’s economic crisis. After all, the banking behemoth made risky loans to tens of thousands of Americans, helping set off a chain of events that has the economy staggering. So it may come as a surprise that a dozen former top Countrywide executives now stand to make millions from the home mortgage mess. Stanford L. Kurland, Countrywide’s former president, and his team have been buying up delinquent home mortgages that the government took over from other failed banks, sometimes for pennies on the dollar. They get a piece of what they can collect. “It has been very successful — very strong. In fact, it’s off-the-charts good,” said John Lawrence, the company’s head of loan servicing, who was leaning back comfortably in his leather boardroom chair, even as the financial markets in New York were plunging.

 

Bailed Out AIG Spending Millions On Four Public-Relation Firms, In-House Team – Keeping the spin machine going.

 

One Flew Over the CPAC Nest – The leader of the Republicans? A man who is aggressive and bombastic, cutting and sarcastic, who dismisses the concerned citizens in network news focus groups as “losers.” With his private plane and his cigars, his history of drug dependency and his personal bulk, not to mention his tangled marital history, Rush is a walking stereotype of self-indulgence – exactly the image that Barack Obama most wants to affix to our philosophy and our party. And we’re cooperating! Those images of crowds of CPACers cheering Rush’s every rancorous word – we’ll be seeing them rebroadcast for a long time.

Only 28% percent of Americans view Limbaugh favorably, 45 percent unfavorably. The Republicans have replaced George W. Bush with someone who rates even worse. Of course they don’t see it that way since, among Republicans, Limbaugh has a 63% approval rating. Compare 63% to 28% and tell me that Republicans are on the same planet as the rest of the country.

 

Republican Hypocrisy on Earmarks – Have you heard all the Republicans complaining about earmarks in the new budget? Well, Taxpayers for Common Sense has compiled a spreadsheet of earmarks in the current budget. Look at the top ten earmarkers and you will see that six are Republicans, four are Democrats. Among the top ten, there were 825 earmarks submitted by Republicans and 613 by Democrats. The dollar amounts total to $1,796 million for Republicans and $1,084 million for Democrats.

 

Getting a Driver’s License in Post 9-11 Republican-Land – The woman asked me for my license, social security number, and current address, then told me to look into that weird telescope-y thing and read the fourth row of numbers and letters. Squinting, I did the best I could, given that the letters were about as legible as those Facebook partial-word confirmation messages. Apparently I missed two, but she shrugged, as if to say, oh well, the state needs your $24, Meemaw. I was almost done. Until she looked at her computer screen, then looked at me.

“Are you a U.S. citizen?” I stared back at her. “You’re kidding, right?”
Her: “No. It says here that your lawful status has not been verified.”
Me: “Look at me.”
Her: “You’re going to need to bring in your birth certificate as proof of citizenship.”
Me: “My birth certificate. Do you know what my birth certificate says?”
Her: (blank stare)
Me: “It says my name is Baby Girl Smith. First name, Baby. Middle name, Girl. Last name, Smith.”
Lady: “Uh-huh.”
Me: “My parents couldn’t decide on a name because they thought I was going to be a boy.”
Her: “Ma’am…”
Me: “They were going to name me Bernie.”
Her: “You could also bring in your passport.”
Me: “Trust me, I’m American.”
Her: “No.”
Me: “I can’t speak Spanish for shit!”
Her: (looking over my shoulder) “Next?”
Me: “BUT I’M BLOND!”
Her: “NO NOT REALLY!”

 

CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years – A report released Tuesday by the CIA’s Office of the Inspector General revealed that the CIA has mistakenly obscured hundreds of thousands of pages of critical intelligence information with black highlighters. According to the report, sections of the documents— “almost invariably the most crucial passages”—are marred by an indelible black ink that renders the lines impossible to read, due to a top-secret highlighting policy that began at the agency’s inception in 1947.

CIA Director Porter Goss has ordered further internal investigation. “Why did it go on for this long, and this far?” said Goss in a press conference called shortly after the report’s release. “I’m as frustrated as anyone. You can’t read a single thing that’s been highlighted. Had I been there to advise [former CIA director] Allen Dulles, I would have suggested the traditional yellow color—or pink.”

Goss added: “There was probably some really, really important information in these documents.” When asked by a reporter if the black ink was meant to intentionally obscure, Goss countered, “Good God, why?” (More humor at the link.)

Regards,

Jim